Cancer, is it okay to ask...?

When someone tells you they have or had cancer it is natural to want to ask

them hundreds of questions. Humans are curious, that's just a fact. 

Usually this curiosity surrounding cancer will manifest itself in one of 3 ways; 

1) You ask them everything all in one giant sitting because you just
really need to get it off your chest.  

2) You ask them a few questions every so often, because you probably 
don't want to seem insensitive. 

3) You hold back pretty much every question because you feel very
awkward about asking, especially questions which you feel are most 
likely to personal or silly to ask. 

I have experienced people from each of these categories, but I think 

most people fall into the third category.This is why I have created this blog 
post.

I asked on Facebook and Twitter and on this blog for people to contact me 
with the questions they really wanted to know. People responded very well 
and I got a lot of private messages. You all wanted to know answers to 
questions both about cancer in general and about specific cancer types. 
Therefore I decided to ask a group of my "cancer friends" to 

help me answer the questions I couldn't. 

In order to allow them to answer truthfully and without worry I told them 
all that they would remain anonymous. So when when you read a direct
quote from someone other than myself I will write something such as this: 
"Female bowel cancer survivor, 22." 

I hope you find the answers to the questions you wanted to ask: 

Is it okay to ask... about testicular cancer? 

1)  If you had one of your balls removed, does this mean it hurts 
less if you get kicked in the groin?  

Answer:  

Testicular cancer survivor (20): 

Erm... I can't say anyone has ever asked me that before actually! 
Well I think it kind of hurts the exact same as it used to. I suppose you
could argue that having one less ball to be sore technically makes it less
sore. But trust me it still hurts!!!! 

2) Does it affect your sex life now, compared to before?

Answer: 

Testicular cancer survivor (24):

It’s completely natural to automatically have a bunch of worries, and 
questions after getting diagnosed with testicular cancer. I most definitely 
thought, “how is my mojo gonna change now that I’m getting a ball removed?!” 
Well, I think it’s good to note that everyone is different and what I've experienced might be different from you.

I haven’t really had any change in my sex life at all. Everything still works, 
I still can orgasm and my urges are the same as before. However, when 
it comes to reproduction, that’s a different story. 

Is it okay to ask... about skin cancer?

1) Did you use a lot of sunbeds before you get skin cancer?

Answer: 

Skin cancer survivor (22): 

I've never had a sunbed before in my life, nor do I particularly sit out 
in the sun even on holiday. Some cancers can be genetic and melanomas 
fall into this category although none of my family members have suffered 
from it. 
One thing that annoys me more than anything 

is the rush people have to ask me if I frequently have sunbeds or people 
who continue to discuss their use of sun beds in front of me despite knowing 
my diagnosis. So no, not all skin cancers are due to UV exposure. 

2) do you feel like skin cancer is less difficult than a lot of other
 cancers, because it's on the surface, and more easy to spot? 

Answer: 

Skin cancer survivor (22): 

Skin cancer certainly isn't the most difficult cancer to have - the survival 
rate is incredibly high and the majority of cases are visible from the outside 
due to a change in a mole etc. 

I unfortunately was slightly unlucky and my melanoma was under the 
surface which is fairly rare. It was very awkward to remove and has already 
recurred and I'm only 22. So yes and no. Skin cancer can be less difficult in 
some cases but please remember, it is still a cancer diagnosis and someones 
life has still be greatly effected so I'd avoid saying that to anyone. 

Amy here: I totally agree with my friend. I think the worst thing you could 
say to a cancer patient is that their cancer "isn't the worst." Cancer is cancer,
no matter where it is and the scale of it that cancer has changed that 
persons life. 

Is it okay to ask... about ovarian cancer?

Since it was ovarian cancer that I was diagnosed with then I will answer 
these questions myself. 

1) "What actually are ovaries?" 

Answer: 

You would be surprised how often I am actually asked this question 
(and not just by men). 

The ovaries are two small, oval-shaped organs in the pelvis They make up part of the female reproductive 
system, (which includes the ovaries, fallopian tubes, womb, cervix and 
vagina -just so you know-) 

Each month, in women who are young enough, one of the ovaries produces 
an egg. The egg passes down the fallopian tube to the womb. If the egg isn't 
fertilised by a sperm, it passes out of the womb. It’s then shed, along with the 
lining of the womb, as part of the monthly period (the horrible bloody time of 
the month). 

Is this a bit too much information? Hope not because here is another important
job of the ovaries: Ovaries also produce the female sex hormones estrogen 
and progesterone. As a woman nears the menopause, the ovaries make less 
of these hormones and periods gradually stop. 

And now hopefully you understand what ovaries actually are. 
(Never thought that sex education at high school was worth it, 
but now I see it is) 

2) "What is it like to be infertile?" 

Answer: 

This is actually a very difficult subject for me to fully admit my feelings about, 
but i'm going to just open up here. 

When someone losses a child, it's awful, and people start to imagine how 
completely at loss that family must be feeling.

However, I feel people can't really seem to understand the loss I feel that I can't have children. I am so emotionally hurt by my loss that some days this 
is all  have thought about, I have cried for hours at the loss of children who 
have never even really existed.I live every day in a constant reminder that I 
will never conceive a child. I often cry when I find out that someone I know 
is pregnant or has given birth, I have locked myself inthe bathroom and 
collapsed in a heap of pain. 

It is the most horrible grieving process which I am still experiencing. 
I can be content, push it to the back of my brain for a long time, then all 
of a sudden something triggers. I remember and I am consumed by my 
sadness until once again I make myself become numb to it. 

I'm not sure how to deal with this horrible hole I seem to have in my heart. In fact right now as I write this is the first time I've even decided to open up 
about my feelings. 

Infertility is lonely, I am 21 so many people I know are having kids and starting 
a family. I am happy for them, but I am also heartbroken because I know my 
future isn't like their's, no matter how much I want it to be. 

Sometimes I even get very angry about being infertile, I feel really cheated. 
I feel like I have been denied the right a woman has to create life, something 
which is so amazing,something which I always took for granted that I would be
able to do. I feel like less of a woman, like I am incomplete, because I am. 

I am quite a strong person now because I had to be, and I smile and face 
the day most days However, some days I just need to break down and allow
myself to be sad and angry,because I have every right to be. 
I need to allow myself to grieve for my ovaries, for the woman I used to be, 
for all the things that might have been. Otherwise I'd end up a bitter menopausal woman who hates every woman who gets pregnant because she is jealous. That is not the person I will ever allow myself to become. 

I need to let go of the life I had planned and just live the life I have. 
After all becoming infertile is what it took to save my life. 
I will forever be saddened when I remember what I have lost, but I will 
use the joy I feel everyday from still being alive to overcome it as best I can.   

Is it okay to ask... about cancer?

1)  "Is cancer contagious?" 

Answer: 

No. This is a large misconception that people believe more often than you can 
imagine.In the past, people often stayed away from someone who had cancer. 
They were afraid they might “catch” the disease. But cancer isn’t like the flu or a 
cold. You can’t catch cancer from someone who has it. 

2)  "What is remission?"

Some people think that remission means the cancer has been cured, but this 
isn’t always the case. Remission is a period of time when the cancer is responding 
to treatment or is under control. In a complete remission, all the signs and 
symptoms of cancer go away and cancer cells can’t be detected by any of the tests 
available for that cancer. It’s also possible for a patient to have a partial remission. 
This is when the cancer shrinks but doesn't completely disappear. Remissions can last 
anywhere from several weeks to many years.Complete remissions may go on for 
years and over time be considered cures. If the cancer returns, another remission
may be possible with further treatment.

3) "Does ALL your hair fall out?" 

Answer:; This is actually the question I have been asked more times than any 
other question, and it is usually accompanied by an obvious gesture towards 
your groin. Yes ALL the hair fell out. 

Although loosing my hair was really difficult there was always an upside:
NO SHAVING! 

I never realised how much time this takes up 
until I didn't have to do it anymore. Also when I lost my eyebrows I used to draw 
different ones on depending on my mood, just because it was funny
(my personal favorite was the sharp pointed and arc shaped angry eyebrows).  

4) "Do you think they will ever find the cure for cancer?" 

I don't think they will ever find one singular cure for cancer because cancers are 
all very different. I hope that in the future there will be lots of medical advancements
to treat and cure different types of cancer. The advancements we have made 
in even the last 5 years is the treatment of cancer is astonishing. 

There have been lots of claims that people have found "THE cure" for cancer, 
and people continue to waste their money on the hope for a miracle. 

However I'd like to quote the late Patrick Swayze (who died of pancreatic 
cancer in 2009) "Ifanybody had that cure out there like so many people swear 
to me they do, you'd be two things: you'd be very rich, and you'd be very 
famous. Otherwise, shut up." 

I hope you found this helpful, after all these are some of the frequent questions 
that were being sent to me. I will likely make another blog post like this one in
the future because people just have so many questions, so don't hesitate to ask me some more. 

Please Like my Facebook page for this blog, and give the page a Follow on Twitter 
and as always share it. 

www.facebook.com/remissionaccomplishedblog 

twitter.com/RemissionAblog 

Amy x 

    

  

    

  

My Unsung Hero of the Month: Kayleigh Canning

Hero of the Month: 

Name: Kayleigh Canning
Age: 20
Cancer: Ovarian Cancer


Why is she my hero?

Kayleigh is my hero because when she faced terrible life problems one after the other she never gave-up hope, she is proof that what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger!


The life of Kayleigh Canning:

My parents decided to adopt myself and my two
brothers for reasons I won’t get into (that’s a whole new blog) they seen something in us and went all out and adopted all 3 of us so they wouldn't break me and my brothers apart and to be very frank we were past the cute adoption age. I never ever looked back they brought us up in a safe environment . We traveled Europe as as family went over the the states. Most of all they gave us the love and attention that we needed. 
At 17 years old and only a few days away from completing my first year at college life could not be sweeter. I was enjoying every moment! Making new friends and new memories and finally feeling that my life was on the right tracks.

Life changing:  Then out of the blue life as I knew it changed forever just 7 days before completing my first year at college my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 womb cancer. We had no time to dwell in pity because everything was moving so fast. My mum started intense chemo and became ill very quickly. As a family we all pitched in to help in anyway possible and put on a brave face for my mum. 

However, one day I came home from college I had the worst headache and a very swollen stomach. I informed my mum and dad that I was going to straight to bed. I stayed there all night in the dark till about 10pm when my mum came in. She lay on my bed with me and told me that she didn’t think I was looking to good. She begged me to go to the doctors the next day. I told her it was just a little headache I will be fine but to put her mind to rest I said I would go see my GP. 

I sat on the doctors bed telling him about my sore head and swollen stomach he asked me to lay down so he could examine my stomach. He had a feel of my stomach and asked if I was pregnant. So after finally convincing the Dr that I was not pregnant he took some blood and booked me in for an emergency scan the next morning.

The next day I was finally seen by a doctor. He hooked me up to the ultrasound machine. After a quick scan of my stomach he said "I need to get the specialist." At this point I was beginning to get a bit worried … What if there was actually something wrong with me ? I was called back into the room. Me and my mum sat down she was holding my hand. The Dr simply said "I don’t know how to really put this but you have a tumour" I was In shock. 

What next? 

I was informed my tumour was indeed cancerous. – A rare form of ovarian cancer.My world crumbled how could me and my mum have cancer at the same time ! I didn't know how to break the news to my mum so I asked my sister who was driving her home to do it for me. I was waiting at the door for my mum to come home. When she opened that door and our eyes met was the worst moment in my life. I will never forget the hurt that was in her eyes. We both crumbled into a big emotional mess.

I decided that there could only be one outcome and that was me being strong, brave and a surviving! 

After my first operation I was so overwhelmed, and I looked so sick. Then the best thing happened, I was introduced to The Teenage Cancer Trust, where I got to meet people my age with cancer. I really needed this support to help me get through cancer.  I decided not to have chemo but other treatments instead, I felt this gave me the most time to spend with my mum. 

Losing my Mum: 

Me and Mum

The doctors told me I was in remission, I was happy to be back on my way to health: cancer free. But I started to get symptoms again so I went back to the doctors and sadly found out that my cancer had come back. However, this wasn't the reason that day was the worst day of my life. This was the same day my mum passed away. As I spoke to her the last time I didn't tell her my cancer had come back: I couldn't! 

It came to Christmas time, I had lost my mum and had 4 surgeries, including a full hysterectomy. It was an awful Christmas. I was so lucky to have my family and friends to support me, along with everyone from the Teenage Cancer Trust. 

Being strong: 
Thankfully I am now cancer free again, i'm two years in remission. I have a new lease for life, and I enjoy every moment.  

Me and Kayleigh now

Unsung Hero of the month: 

I'm sure you can now see why this amazing girl is my unsung hero of the month. She is one of my best friends, and she helped me through my own cancer. We've been through a lot together, and i'm so happy to have someone so strong and inspiring in my life.
She remained strong through being an orphan, losing her mum to cancer, and being diagnosed with cancer twice herself.











Thank you for reading this, post.
I will be posting once a month about my unsung heroes.
Please check out my other blog posts, and catch me both on twitter and Facebook:

https://twitter.com/RemissionAblog

https://www.facebook.com/remissionaccomplishedblog

Not all cancer is pink- your anus: no laughing matter!

Not all cancer is Pink: 

As an outcome of my latest blog "not all cancer is pink: thinking outside of the bra" I have decided to write a blog post raising awareness of each different type of cancer (alphabetically). First have a read of that last blog post here: http://littlemisssurvivor93.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/not-all-cancer-is-pink-thinking-outside.html 

The first cancer on the list is anal cancer. The anus is the butt of a lot of jokes (excuse the pun) but anal cancer is not a joke. Around 1000 people are diagnosed with cancer each year in the UK (Macmillan cancer support). 


What is your anus:

I'm sure you will all know, but if not:  The anus is the name for the muscular opening to the very end of the large bowel. It can be seen below: 

The Signs and Symptoms:

• bleeding from the anus 
• pain, discomfort and itching around anus 
• lumps around the anus (could be confused with hemorrhoids) 
• difficulty controlling bowel movements 
• discharge 
• ulsters that can even spread to the buttocks   

Causes and possible risk factors

Human papilloma virus (HPV): 
this cancer is more likely to happen to those who have contracted the virus HPV


Sexual activity: 
people who have anal intercourse are more likely to develop this type of cancer

Lowered immunity: 
people who have a lowered immunity due to conditions like HIV or who are taking immunity suppressors are more likely to be diagnosed with this cancer

Smoking: 
those who smoke are at a higher risk of developing anal cancer


Real life story:

To help you all better understand what living with an anal cancer diagnosis is likeI have included this video of a real life anal cancer patient.


Name:  Tania

Age:  43

Cancer type:  Anal

Something that makes her brilliant: 
She named her anal cancer blog "A bum deal"
http://abumdeal.blogspot.co.uk/



What colour is anal cancer: 

In the post that started this all off I mentioned that most people don't know the support colours for different types of cancer. Sure everyone knows Pink= breast cancer. However do you know the colour of the anal cancer ribbons?

The colour of anal cancer is Purple and Green, and i'd be happy to wear it to show my support!






Thank you for reading this: the next "Not all cancer is pink" update will be about cancer of the bile duct. Do you know the colour of that cancer? 


Amy x 

Not all cancer is pink: thinking outside the bra.

Seeing pink? 

Awareness and funds in recent years have meant massive leaps in research for breast cancer. This is amazing news as so many lives have been saved as a result. This awareness is in no small part related to the "pink" campaign. Everyone knows that a pink ribbon is meant for breast cancer awareness, but do you know the colour of the bowel cancer ribbon, or the brain cancer ribbon, or any other ribbons for that matter? 

I have raised money for breast cancer awareness in the past and I will always give money to these campaigns. However, I think that it is about time that we remember that not all cancer is pink! 

Statistics 

It is true that the incidence rate of people being diagnosed with breast cancer is high in the UK compared to many other cancers, in fact overall (as of 2011) breast cancer is the most common cancer in the UK (Cancer Research UK). Despite this fact breast cancer does not cause the most deaths of cancer each year: several others (including lung and bowel cancer) are ahead in mortality statistics. 

Relating back to what I said earlier, most people in the UK that die of cancer die of lung cancer, but did you know the lung cancer ribbon is white? My guess is you didn't know that. 

I want to raise awareness of all cancers, however right now I am going to focus on my cancer: ovarian cancer compared to breast cancer. Ovarian cancer is often known as a "silent killer" among cancers. This is because most people who are diagnosed with this type of cancer are diagnosed too late to be cured. This is due to a number of reasons; a lack of knowledge of symptoms, the fact the symptoms are so similar to many other conditions, and because cancer in the ovaries is hard to spot. 

In 2011 there were 49,936 cases of breast cancer diagnosed, 7116 cases of ovarian cancer diagnosed in the UK. 

You may wonder why I am even comparing the two as there are clearly a lot more cases of breast cancer than ovarian. However, what concerns me is the percentage of deaths of these cancers each year (Cancer Research UK). 

Of the 49,936 people diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012, 11,643 died. However of the 7116 women diagnosed with ovarian cancer, 4271 of them died. 

This means 14% of those diagnosed with breast cancer died, whereas 47% of those diagnosed with ovarian cancer this year died (cancer statistics report). 

In addition: the 10 year survival rate of breast cancer in the UK is 77% of those diagnosed. This is a huge difference from the 35% 10 year survival rate of ovarian cancer patients in the UK. 

So it's clear that you are more likely to be diagnosed with breast cancer that ovarian cancer, however you are a lot more likely to die from ovarian cancer if diagnosed. 

This horrible difference between these two cancers is highly attributed to the fact the breast cancer awareness is very high, therefore the money donated to this cause and research is much higher than of ovarian cancer. This is clearly seen from this Cancer Research UK table: 

The research funding for different cancer types in the UK:

          

We can clearly see that ovarian cancer gets 6% of the research funding for cancer in the UK, whereas breast cancer gets the most funding at 19%. 

It is great to know the amazing advancement that we have made in treating breast cancer due to public awareness, donations, and therefore research. However it is sad to see a lack of this for many other cancers, including ovarian cancer. Ovarian cancer is the 5th most common cancer in women, and is responsible for a high percentage of cancer deaths compared to many other cancers. 

Do you know the ovarian cancer ribbon colour? It is a teal ribbon. Even though I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer I had no idea for months that this was the ribbon for my type. When people think cancer they see pink. Why can't they see teal (ovarian), or white (lung), or purple (thyroid) or green (kidney)? Sadly, because they don't know enough about these cancers until it is too late.    

This is why I feel strongly about raising awareness of other cancers, and trying to demonstrate that not all cancer is pink: we really must think outside the bra! This is why once a month I am now going to include a blog post about a different type of cancer each time. 

If there are any types of cancer that you'd really like me to post about just let me know. 

Here is a list of references I used: 

survival rates ovarian cancer: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-info/cancerstats/types/ovary/survival/ovarian-cancer-survival-statistics 

survival rates breast cancer: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-info/cancerstats/types/breast/survival/breast-cancer-survival-statistics 

Cancer mortality UK: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-info/cancerstats/types/breast/survival/breast-cancer-survival-statistics 

Cancer incidence UK: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-info/cancerstats/incidence/commoncancers/uk-cancer-incidence-statistics-for-common-cancers 

Cancer statistics report 2012: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-info/cancerstats/incidence/commoncancers/uk-cancer-incidence-statistics-for-common-cancers 

Thank you for reading, Amy x     

 

         

Questions people have when you have/had cancer

Since being diagnosed with cancer and still even now people ask me so many questions about it. I am happy to answer them, but some of them also make you really want to laugh. 

No matter how crazy or stupid I believe the question is, I hold back the urge to giggle because it's my goal to educate people on cancer. The more we know the better we can fight against it, after all keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? 

So here is a list of questions I have most commonly been asked, hope it helps: 

1) "So, when you had chemo, did all of your hair fall out? I mean...like ALL of it (they gesture awkwardly at your groin)" 

ANSWER :This is a question that comes up very often, and I have to be honest it's hard not to laugh every time someone does that gesture. 

Yes, all my  hair fell out. Not just my hair on my head, but also; eyebrows, eyelashes, leg hair, arm hair, and yes down there (cue that same gesture). 

This issue of hair loss had me divided: I was so upset at loosing the hair on my head, it was my crowning glory. My long locks were my favorite feature, but actually I got used to it, and really enjoyed spending far too much money on a multitude of different colored and styled wigs. 

It was much harder loosing my eyebrows and eyelashes, in case you don't know no eyebrows is a really strange look, they frame the face in a way you never knew. Then again I did have a lot of fun drawing on my eyebrows to my mood, with angry eyebrows being a favorite of mines. 

And so you know, fake eyelashes just fall down if you have no eyelashes to hold them up! 

Disturbing fact: I put mascara on even when I was down to three eyelashes! There may not have been many, but they were sure going to be long! 

The dividing factor I was talking about was that it was amazing not having to shave or wax for a long time. You have no idea how much time is saved during a bath or shower. Plus not having to sit and do my hair every day mean longer lie in bed. 

2) "Did you smoke, is that why you got cancer?" 

ANSWER: I have never been a smoker at all, but also I didn't have lung or throat cancer or anything like that. I had Ovarian cancer. I don't know why you'd think they could be connected, but trust me they're not! 

3) "You got treated at the Beatson, you must know (insert name here)" 

ANSWER: Erm...no. I'm not sure you're aware but there isn't a cancer club, we don't all know each other. 

4) "So you're all back to normal, you must be so happy now?" 

ANSWER: There seems to be a belief that once you are in remission that you are totally well and back to normal as before. This just isn't true. 

I know that I will never be "normal" again, and I will definitely never be the same as I was before. 

When I look back on everything that has happened I realise how much I have changed since the day before I was diagnosed. On the 21st of November 2012 I was just a typical 19-year-old student. 

The next day my life changed completely 

Of course my core being hasn't changed, I love the same things, I am still Amy Quinn, but somehow I am also completely different. I am a different version of myself, and I like to think that my new version is better: Amy Quinn 2.0. 

5)  "So you had your ovaries removed, does that mean you can't have kids?" 

ANSWER: I can never conceive a baby, it's true. This is something that will haunt me, I have a lot of 'what if's' that could be going around in my mind all the time about this, but I try and suppress them because I know that i'll only torment myself. I'm not going to pretend that I didn't let this affect me at all. In fact i'll let you in on something embarrassing: For months after finding out I couldn't have children I used to take my contraceptive pill box (which I had been using before I was diagnosed with cancer) and just stare at it crying. I know, it's a disturbing picture, but I plucked up the courage to throw them away one day. Every time I start to get upset about it now I just say in my head three times 'at least I don't have periods.' (If you want to read more about all this I have a previous blog post about it). 

6) "no offence, but how come you didn't get skinny when you had cancer, isn't that what happens?" 

ANSWER: most people I know that have or had cancer put on weight. They put weight on for the same reason as me, because the steroids the doctors put us on make us gain weight like crazy! 

Stop taking the steroids you say? Well no, because if I didn't take them I was just throw up everywhere all the time, trust me I tried not to take them. IT WAS GRIM! 

7) "Why do you have tubes sticking out of your chest?" 

ANSWER: when I was on chemo I had permanent tubes hanging out of my chest, just dangling there, like an unwanted conversation starter. This was all because my veins were pretty much impossible to locate and get a needle into. Since I would be needing A LOT of needles stabbed into me during this time, they thought it best to give me what is known as a Hickman Line. They could take out my blood and give me chemo through it, so yeah it saved me a lot of hours of nurses playing hide and seek with my veins. The downside of the line was that getting it put in while I was awake was horrific! I still wince at the memory of that day, if being given 8 local anesthetics (that clearly didn't really work very well) wasn't sore enough, the tube being shoved in my chest through my vein and into the main artery to my heart was definitely the stuff of nightmares. 

And now I have vein down my neck and on my chest that really sticks out, for some reason people always want to touch it. 

8) "doesn't it scare you all the time that it might come back?" 

ANSWER: I would be lying if I said that the possible return of cancer didn't scare the crap out of me. However most days I simply don't allow myself to give that fear a chance to concern me. 

I have my own view about what beating cancer is: beating cancer isn't the same as surviving it, beating cancer is all about your mindset. Every day of my life I face a battle against cancer, it didn't go away because i'm in remission. If I let the fear of cancer take over and ruin my day then I have lost the battle against cancer that day. Every day that I don't allow that fear to overcome the goodness, then I beat cancer that day. 

Two amazing people I met along my cancer journey: Layla and Stephen, both died of their cancers. 

But they also beat cancer, because they didn't allow it to defeat their mind, their spirit or their joy in life, they stayed strong. 

I may not win this battle every single day, but I win the majority of my days. I will continue to beat cancer as many days as I can! 

Stephen Sutton

Layla Watt

I hope this post has answered some of your questions, any more then please don't hesitate to leave a comment or ask on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/remissionaccomplishedblog  

Enjoy life! 

Amy x   

        

           

       

"Menopause really isn't that bad" said NO woman ever!

As usual, the first half of this post will be about my story, and how it relates to this topic. The second half will be more lighthearted.

First of all, for those that may not know what menopause is (young men), here is a description:
Menopause- the period in a woman's life (typically around age 50) when menstruation (periods) cease.The woman's estrogen declines rapidly. This happens to every woman, and causes many problems and symptoms in the female it happens to. Women who are experiencing this are described as "menopausal."

However, not everything in life turns out the way it is meant to, because I began my menopause at 19-years-old.

So how did this happen?
Well my body let me down, and I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 19. Initially they  weren't sure where the cancer actually was, so they sent me to have an operation to find it on the 31st of December 2012. They told me that they were hopeful that the cancer was going to be in the early stage and easily found. Well, they were right it was easily found, but it was actually stage 3. It was  ovarian cancer and it consumed my ovaries and Fallopian tubes. It had also spread to my appendix, some of my abdomen and omentum. They removed both ovaries, both fallopian tubes, my appendix and my omentum.

I was pumped full of drugs during and after my operation, so I don't remember much of what happened when I initially woke up from the operation, except being in pain. I remember waking up the next morning, on the 1st of January 2013, as if it was yesterday. I was put to sleep for my operation nervous of course, but also believing that what my doctors thought (that it would be early stages and easy to remove) was likely to be the case. When I woke up however, this clearly wasn't the true.
 A doctor who was on-call that day was making her rounds in the ward. She eventually came over to me, introduced herself and read over the chart at the bottom of my bed. She told me that in the next week i'd start to feel the effects of menopause begin. I was very confused, I asked her what she meant. She said "well, because you had your ovaries removed. you'll now be menopausal." I didn't speak for a moment, but it felt longer, my eyes welled up and I felt like someone had just shattered my world. I almost refused to believe that what she just said was correct, I said "I had my ovaries removed!?" I could see that she too was confused, she had no idea that I didn't know what had happened during my operation. she explained that she thought the other doctor had told me, and then she said sorry and moved on to another ward.

It felt like I was back in the room with the doctor when he told me I had cancer. I felt so many things at once; numb, yet heartbroken, angry, worried. This meant something no woman could bear to know, I was now infertile, I couldn't have children.
I sat there, tears streaming down my face, lying perfectly still, thinking about what this all meant. Then the lady in the bed next to me said "it's going to be okay" she comforted me and told me that the doctor had told me the night before, but I was too drugged to remember it. She had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer too, and to this day, and forever, i'll always be proud to say that this lady, Marjory, is my friend.

After the operation I had to undergo a chemotherapy regime, and for those of you who haven't followed previous blogs: I am cancer free!


So what actually happens during menopause? Is it different when you go through menopause at a young age?  well read on to find out(don't worry this is meant to be lighthearted):

The Worst Things About Going Through Menopause

1) Hot flushes/flashes 

This is a particularly annoying symptom of menopause, basically a hot flash/hot flush is a sudden feeling of almost unbearable feverish heat that takes over your body. I am beginning to think that they exclusively happen at the worst possible times.
For example I was once giving a talk during a uni. lecture, and right in the middle of it BOOM! heat radiating over my whole body, I try to keep speaking but sweat is pouring down my face like a fountain. Anyone who every asked why we have eyebrows, this is why! If my eyebrows weren't there I would have been blinded by my own forehead sweat! I feel like I might faint at any moment, I rush forward and grab paper of someones desk and start flapping it about in a feeble attempt to cool myself down. During these intense symptoms menopause just envelops you like a.. well, actually... much like an envelope (don't ever tell me my Advanced English class was wasted...).
I suddenly look up, panting, sweating, bent over the speakers podium, and see the whole class staring at me in horror. The teacher asks "are you okay" and I reply "yeah, just a hot flush." He and some others in the class laugh a little and he says "well, it might be that, in about 40 years."
I don't even bother to explain to him that I really am menopausal, I just compose myself and continue. Which takes me to my next point...

2) Nobody seems to realise you can start menopause prematurely 

Sometimes things happen (like in the above story) that make you feel the need to explain yourself to people. "I'm just having a hot flash" or "sorry, menopause made me scatty." The problem is that as a woman of only 21 years old, everyone always thinks i'm joking because menopause usually wouldn't affect people my age for another 30 or so years. When I excuse my strange behaviors by saying that its my menopause people just laugh it off and say something like "oh, bit young aren't we?" I look at them and know I have two choices:
a) Laugh as well and feel really awkward about it

b) tell them "no actually, I am going through premature menopause"

I want to be open and honest, but I very often avoid telling them. It's not something I can just say and move on with, they want to know more: how? why? when? etc. It's not that I mind telling people that I had cancer, but it's the thought of how they'll react to that news.

read my blog about the funny ways people react when I tell them about my cancer here: http://littlemisssurvivor93.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/what-happens-when-you-say-i-have-cancer.html

Or by reading through previous posts.

3) Brain Fog 

There is a problem menopausal women have, often known as brain fog. What this actually refers to is:

• memory issues 
• confusion 
• difficulty focusing 
• decreased alertness                    

There doesn't seem to be an awful lot of worry about these problems, because menopause is supposed to happen in older women, and therefore people see memory loss etc. as a natural problem that comes with aging.

However I am a 21 year old university student, so this is a very big problem. I'll give you a run down of how this affects me:

I am sitting in a large lecture hall writing down notes as the lecturer speaks to everyone. I begin to drift off and stop listening, i'm not really thinking about anything else in particular, and i'm not cautiously making the decision to stop listening. Around five minutes later I'll realise I zoned out and try and catch up, but i'm far behind what the teacher is talking about. This will keep happening, sometimes I catch myself beginning to drift and I sit up more to focus myself. No matter what I do though, I've missed about half of the class because I just couldn't focus. Then I try later to write an essay and I have the same problem I drift away often. Then I have an exam and try to study, not only do I still find it difficult to stay alert, but I have the added worry about the problems I now have with memory. I know that when I sit inn the exam i'll be writing but I can't remember something that I know I should, and I know it's my menopause.

It doesn't just affect my life at uni, it affects my whole life. I have forgotten my best friends names, my own address, and often repeat things I've just said, it makes me feel like an old woman.
I can be having a conversation and just drift off in the middle, and when the person taps me and says "hello?" or something like that I say "sorry, drifted off" but they look at me like i'm crazy.

4) Becoming the Michelin Man! 

Menopause (along with steroids during chemo) helped me gain a massive 4 stone!
See, steroids made me have a huge appetite, particularly for fatty foods, but I needed steroids while I was on chemo. Menopause causes a problem with metabolism that makes it really easy to gain weight, but also really hard to loose it.
This is a massive inconvenience, and I really do feel like the Michelin Man! This is a struggle all women will have to face during menopause. It's not impossible to loose the weight but it's going to be tougher because i'm menopausal. The doctor has vowed to help me, so I try to remain positive.
Until then, I think i'll avoid mirrors from now on!

5) Mood Swings 

Okay, so my menopause is nobody's fault, but someone is going to pay for it!

unfortunately, menopause messes with the hormones, and the hormones mess with my mood. I can go from being a really happy fun-loving girl to wrathful and ferocious creature quicker than a Hennessy Venom can go from 0-60mph!

It's really horrible because I find myself running after people trying to say sorry. Then I have to explain that its my hormones, it's my menopause, and then that takes us back to problem 2 on this list. Menopause is just a vicious circle!

6) Hairy issues! 

So, as if losing all my hair wasn't bad enough, my hair problems continue!
Menopause causes grey hair to grow, this might not be a big deal if you're 55 and already aging, but i'm 21. No sooner had my hair started to grow back than I was already plucking out my grey's!
50 shades of grey has a whole different meaning in my world!

Not only this, but i'm also sprouting hair like it was going out of fashion. When my hair fell out on my head it also fell out everywhere else, but now there is a surplus of hair; on my chin above my lip, eyebrows growing in strange ways. I know I had prayed to have my hair back but this is ridiculous!!!

7) All the serious stuff! 

I really don't want to bore you but i'll mention these briefly.

a) Heart problems- having an early menopause effects my hearts health in a really bad way. I have a much higher risk of heart disease, heart attacks etc. this is because estrogen protects the heart, and menopause is the decline of estrogen in a woman's body. In my case much of this estrogen was taken away suddenly when I had my ovaries removed.

b) Infertility- as I previously mentioned I am infertile because I have no ovaries. But I do have a glimmer of hope. I still have a womb which means that I could have a baby with a donated egg. However it's a very difficult process, with low success, so if I choose to try it one day, then there many be some hope. But I have to be honest it isn't even a true fix to me, after
all is a donated egg really mine?  

c) Osteoporosis- This is a disease that causes weakened bones, making it likely for that person to break or fracture bones suddenly, and easily. Estrogen protects the bones, so the lack of estrogen means they weaken.



Many of the problems I have could be helped it I were given Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).
However because of the particular type of ovarian cancer I had, I am not allowed HRT. My type of cancer likes estrogen and uses it to grow, therefore i'd be risking my cancer returning if I took it.



What Iv'e gone through might seem horrible at rimes, but I assure you it's all been worth it, because it means I survived cancer. I'm alive, and loving life!


Thanks for reading :D